Polish ABC

or Poland in a distorting mirror and with a bit of a bitter truth

Poland is a beautiful country, but sometimes little weird. You can spend here half of the century without understanding it. The following alphabet reflects the author’s subjective feelings and does not have to be 100% true. Some comments relate to the rule of the PiS party (Law and Justice) – 2015… .

A

abortion – prohibition of abortion due to genetic defects of the fetus, introduced by the judgment of the Constitutional Tribunal of On October 22, 2020, has reduced a woman in Poland from human subject to the role of a biological object.

alms – see: pension

ateist – atheist – a barking mongrel (by the Primate Jozef Glemp); the person who led Poland and Europe to ruin, and therefore should keep silence (by Bishop Pieronek)

B

book – a subject of which more than half of Poles stays away

C

Catholic cross – its presence in state and public institutions and schools is an expression of constitutionally guaranteed religious impartiality. In the picture: the cross in the parliament.

Catholicism – a tool to distinguish the real Pole from the not-Pole

Church – a global organization based in the Vatican. In Poland Church does not pay any tax, but taking care of his business, even at the expense of the national interest, is called patriotism

Constitution of the III RP – the highest legal act defining the political, social and economic system of the state. For the ruling PiS party and the current president, it is a trash that they should not worry about

constitution 2 – a symbol of opposition against the law breaking PiS and the most hated word by the party so you can get a splash in the face for proclaiming the slogan “constitution”

contraception – a test for beliefs of the pharmacist, who can sell the pills (or not). In the picture: for ethical reasons, the pharmacy does not sell contraceptives

D

doctors – during the peak period of the COVID-19 pandemic, the target of a negative campaign by the government

domestic violence – family affairs

Donald Duck – a popular American cartoon character, in Poland however The “duck” fights against a Donald. Donald is the name of the former Polish prime ministry Donald Tusk; duck refers to the family name of his greatest political oponent Jarosław Kaczyński as kaczka = duck . Left: J. Kaczyński, right: D.Tusk

E

equality of sexes – yes, but not at the payment and distribution of household duties

European Union – a creation which for Judas silver coins deprived Poland of what is the most precious to the country: freedom and independence

F

feminists – women which persistently don’t give up with combating the traditional model of a Polish family: 3 x K (Kinder, Kuche, Kirche)

football – in Polish version a game with participation of 11 men, who do not know what for they ran on the pitch

freedom of speech – yes, but only within the limits allowed by the authorities. In the picture: police arresting a teen girl for her bike protest against destroying of the Radio Program 3 independence

G

gender – an ideology aimed at distracting Polish women from their traditional home activities

get the fuck out – expectations of some young Poles towards the widely understood Polish government in connection with the tightening of the abortion law

God – in Poland always Mister God, a supernatural power, which provides Poles a nice sense of security. This sense has never been weakened by partitions, Hitler, Stalin and the Communists

guest – old Poles used to say: “a guest in the house = God in the house” and shared with him the last bowl of soup. The new Poles think differently sometimes. In the picture: March of Independce with slogan ”Poland for Poles, Poles for Poland” and “Stop islamization”

H

humour – last seen during communism time, after its fall (1989) replaced by righteous indignation

I

In vitro – it is highly recommended to use prayer instead of tubes

J

Jews – hardly anyone saw them, but almost everybody hates, the only exception is Jesus Christ, his mother Mary (a Queen of Poland, by the way) and their family – can anybody understand it?

John Paul II – our man in the Vatican, unfortunately already in the past tense

K

Kaczyński Jarosław – the leader of the ruling party PiS.  Give him an olive branch and he will turn it into a sword to fight the enemy

L

law – somehow known in Poland but you can be here a Master of law who does not know the principle of the presumption of innocence, and even takes over as Minister of Justice. In the picture: Zbigniew Ziobro, a Minstry of Justice and Attorney General

LGBT –  ideology spreading the depravity of Polish children. The truck slogans say that LGBT wants to teach 4 years old kids – masturbation; 6 yo – acceptance of sex, 9 yo – firs sexual experiences and orgasm (!)

life conceived – is a subject to absolute protection, but when the choice is between “life conceived” already born (the pregnant woman) or “conceived life” unborn yet (the fetus threatening the woman’s life), it is highly recommended to select the secon

M

mother – a typical Polish version is the Polish Mother, a saintly person and the guardian of the hearth and patriotism, forever tied with her children with umbilical cord, which she is not going to cut; never retires because after completing paid work she immediately becomes the unpaid nanny of her grandchildren

N

nothing has happened – the football fans expression they cry loudly always after the game lost by the national football team (see football)

P

patriotism – a mix of the Catholic faith + worship of John Paul II + fear of Russians and Germans + hatred of LGBT, gender and refugees

pension – see: alms

Poland – a place of permanent civil war on various fronts. In pictures: anti-LGBT (see: LGBT) and pro-LGBT slogans

Poles – there no other people in the world like them

police – perhaps the largest in the world personal protection of the president of a disliked party Jarosław Kaczyński  (pictured: protection of his house). Some people call them dogs, and there is something to it

prohibition – it is in a contrary to the Polish spirit of freedom, so it is often violated. On the plate: “Sell is forbidden”

S

school – having not decided yet which of the theories is the only right one: evolutionary or creationist, so teaches both for the same money

secularism – a tool to combat real Polishness

Smolensk catastrophe 2010 –  the Russians blow up the plane with President Lech Kaczyński. The search for TNT is still ongoing.

Ś

Świątek Iga – a beautiful face of Poland, winner of the Rolland Garros tournament in 2020. The first tennis player in the history of Polish tennis to win the Grand Slam tournament.

T

teacher – a profession for which there is no money in Poland

Tokarczuk Olga –  a Nobel Prize-winning writer which books are not read by the Minister of Culture

U

umbrella – the black one symbolizes the protest of Polish women against the tightening of the abortion law

W

Wałęsa Lech – agent of the communist security services (SB) who blew out the communism

Renata Głuszek

Fot. Wikipedia, Wikiedia Commons (Radosław Utra, User Staszewski, Diliff, MOsB10, Piotre Drabik, Silar, Giedymin Jabłoński), YouTube, Renata Głuszek

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