It is often said that Polish women are the most beautiful in the world. You can argue with it, but certainly they care much about their look. So if they are not of a great beauty, they will carefully conceal it with make-up and fashionable dress. But what about their inside?
The character of Polish women was negatively (from a feminist point of view) affected by the uneasy Polish history, especially the 19th century. The loss of independence, a number of the uprising, repression and exile of men-patriots to Siberia by the Russian authorities led to an abnormal situation when it was woman’s responsibility to care about the family and raise children. As a result a long lasting pattern of ideal “Polish mother” has appeared: a guardian of the family hearth, responsible for the upbringing of children.
Artur Grottger “Goodbye”, 1866
For this noble purpose she had to sacrifice her personal happiness and ambition. Sometimes – and this is so even today – also her health or even life. It happens in the case of pathological pregnancy – if it is necessary to choose between a woman and the unborn child, for many the choice is obvious: life is for a child. This is why the issue of abortion in Poland is still unresolved, and never will be resolved in the womens’ interest.
The case is still a live issue but every attempt to tighten the existing (since 90. of the past century) compromise regulations provokes violent protests of women.
In September 2016, during the first term of the Law and Justice (PiS) government, an attempt to pass a very restrictive anti-abortion law, banning abortion completely, led to the so-called “black protest” – demonstrations in many cities of women dressed in black. The black umbrella became the symbol of the rebellion.
Black protest in Racibórz, October 3, 2016. Women protest almost alone. /Photo: Paweł Okulowski, nowiny.pl
Even more violent protests took place in October and November 2020, because the Constitutional Tribunal (not considered legal by some lawyers), inspired by the PiS leader Jarosław Kaczyński, issued a ruling prohibiting abortion due to severe damage to the fetus. This resulted in another, this time a multi-day campaign of the All-Poland Women’s Strike (OSK), and in it – a mass exit to the streets of young women and men, protesting every day in cities all over Poland, including those traditionally voting for PiS. The anger of the demonstrators took the form of a generational protest not only against the tightening of abortion law, but also against the government, J. Kaczyński, and the Polish Church. Slogans such as “get the fuck out” and “fuck PiS” (in Polish very vulgar word: jebać) have been used, and OSK leaders have announced that their goal is even to overthrow the government.
Photo: Silar
This pattern of the woman’s sacrifice lingers to this day, maintained carefully by the Catholic Church (“for the sake of the family woman should not finish the unhappy marriage”). Although they were Germans who invented the famous 3 x K (Kinder, Kirche,Kuche = church, kitchen, children), it fits perfectly to Polish mentality. Even in 21st century, the most important for the average Polish lady is her family and children (for whom she often cares too much and never lets them grow up too early). According to a study conducted by Millward Brown SMG / KRC, the hierarchy of values is as follows: family, health, motherhood, security and happy relationship. A successful relationship is important for women because most of them believe that it is a man’s duty to bring money for the maintenance. So the most welcome male’s characteristics are such as caregiving, responsibility, diligence and resourcefulness.
For 25% of respondents it is important to live in peace and believe in God. Such highly conservative image of Polish women that emerges from various studies can be therefore very attractive to men looking for warm, devoted and docile partners, tolerant to male weakness, men not seeking for liberated ones. In this sphere Polish women passed a centuries-old education, which taught them a passive attitude of domestic violence, because they were told that “if husband loves, he beats”. The same with a tolerance for drinking as “real man has to be drunk sometimes”. Heavily burdened with the role of mother, wife, lover, supply staff, teacher, janitor, cook, nanny (first of her own kids and then of grandchildren), etc., she humbly endured uneasy fate, seeking solace not in combat, but in prayer.
Unfortunately, it seems that this sad legacy of Polish social conservatism has not yet been overcome.The strength of tradition and high acceptance of male dominance is also visible in the sphere of sex, at least for the older generations. Most women believe that the initiative in matters of bed belongs to a man, and that it is him to propose marriage. The typical Polish ladies’ features that may appeal to foreigners include the ability to cook well, but it is forced by indigence of typical Polish family. Most of them are not able to eat out in restaurants. But many women really like to cook and bake and do the kitchens stuff. To illustrate it well with international comparison, a typical Polish woman is closer to a maternal Sophia Loren than to a femme fatale Brigitte Bardot. The answer therefore to the question whether Polish lady is attractive depends on what one is looking for in a woman. Traditionalists who value peace and home, and who attach importance to the appearance of a lady, will certainly be satisfied.
A Polish woman is however interested not only in cosmetics and her family. It is she who in the recent, very difficult times for Poland openly says STOP to fascism, which is gaining its momentum. When on November 11, 2017, on the Independence Day, the extremely nationalist March of Independence was taking place in the streets of Warsaw, whose participants shouted racist and fascist slogans, eight activists of the organization Citizens of the Republic of Poland stood in the way with the banner “Fascism STOP.” And it was women who on January 29 sent a petition to the Minister of Internal Affairs asking for decisive action to block the spread of fascism and nationalism in Poland. Such an attitude today requires considerable courage, because it may lead to the threat of beatings (during marches), arrests or lawsuits. The Polish woman is now passing a great exam.
Photo: Obywatele RP
POLISH WOMAN 2020
The image of Polish women presented above differs of course with successive generations. The youngest are still religious (tradition!), but they live in illegitimate relationships with partners and increasingly appreciate personal freedom or escape from boring family duties.
When on October 23, 2020 and in the following days young women – and equally numerous men – took to the streets in crowds to protest against the judgment of the Constitutional Tribunal on the admissibility of abortion, the majority of Polish society was surprised not only by the scale of the protest, but also by the language used by women. The most frequent were “get the fuck out ” and “fuck” – to the despair of old Poles, for whom a woman should be delicate and subtle. It can be seen with the naked eye that the traditional (and how desirable!) Image of a polite and obedient Polish woman, guided by the teachings of the Church, is becoming a past.
Get the fuck out!
The intensity of protests that swept Poland in the fall of 2020 is a symbol of the great transformation of the Polish women, which is probably best expressed by the slogan: “I think, I feel, I decide”.
“I think, I feel, I decide” / Photo: Jakub Hałun
“The girls on strike are daughters of women who — better educated, better paid and better coping with reality — would return home in the evenings and cook chops at night, for which no one even thanked them. Without complaint, because they were convinced that this was equality, which was (and still is) a fiction. The first step to emancipating is to see when something is wrong. For their mothers, modern and working, it was the norm to be an underappreciated cleaner and cook, reprimanded and instructed. Young women realized that they might be in the same place in a moment, and they don’t want to” – says Aleksandra Derra, philologist and philologist from the University of Nicolaus Kopernik in Toruń.
Unfortunately, there is also a trap in such an emancipated attitude, because the young generation of Polish women is still confronted with the conservatism of males, who find it difficult to implement the family model of partnership (read: The Polish man). Hence the problem with finding a partner. But isn’t the massive male support for their protest a good sign for the future? Time will show it.
Renata Głuszek
The article uses data from a survey of “Gazeta Wyborcza”: “Polka 2007” (February 2007) and gazeta.pl “What Women Want”, April 2011; Kim są nasze „córki”? Pokolenie, które stanęło do walki z władzą i Kościołem” (Who are our daughters? The generetion who fights with the rulers and the Church”) – polityka.pl 2020
Published: May 11, 2013; update: October 5th, 2016 / January 29th, 2018 / November 2nd, 2020
See also: Polish ladies 2, How to withstand a Polish lady
Foto: Wikipedia, Renata Głuszek, Paweł Okulowski nowiny.pl, Silar, Jakub Hałun,